The Last 3 weeks

Since Beckett got out the hospital we've just been trying to enjoy the rest of my maternity leave.  I go back to work in two weeks and I am dreading it, wish I could be home with my babies!  Anyways, we made another trip to Tulsa last week so Kalen's grandparents could meet Beckett.  We loved spending some time with Meme and Grandad and hanging out with Kalen's parents, Aunt Brandy, Uncle Eric, Cousin Kohen, and Nanny.  We also took advantage of the 86 degree weather we had went to the zoo on Friday!  I love being mom to McKinley and Beckett and can't imagine it any other way!

Catching flies - first time in the stroller at the zoo!

The day my heart stopped...

Sunday, October 14th, Kalen's 30th birthday started off with us going to church that morning for the first time since Beckett was born.  He was 16 days old...  Church was great and McKinley was really excited because Aunt Brandy and Cousin Kohen were coming to spend a few days with us while Aunt Brandy had a conference in Edmond.  I planned on cooking this big dinner for Kalen - Pulled beef tacos, tortillas from scratch, Spanish rice, and all the fixings (I don't ever cook Mexican food). I started dinner early and was in the middle of craziness when Aunt Brandy and Kohen got to the house.  I had noticed that Beckett was sleeping a lot since church and hadn't nursed too well either.  I was finishing dinner when Beckett started crying to eat.  So Brandy and Kalen finished making dinner while I fed Beckett.  I was also starting to notice that Beckett didn't like to be held in the positions he normally did and he would scream in those positions.  He wanted to be lying flat which is weird for him. After dinner we put the kids to sleep and I started feeling like something is wrong with Beckett and maybe we should take him to our pediatric after hours clinic.  It felt like he was getting sicker by the minute.  I took his temperature since he had started feeling warm and it was 100.4 under his arm.  Any temperature in a newborn is alarming so I called the nurse line at our peds office.  She confirmed my fear of any temperature in a newborn is alarming and told us to take him to the emergency room at Children's Hospital in OKC.  We decided to change his diaper right before we left and as we barely moved him he would scream at any movement.  It broke my heart to put him if the carseat as he screamed in pain (it was the worst cry ever - it wasn't a loud scream - it was a scream of pain that had no energy almost hoarse).  We got to the ER filled out a form and waited about 5 minutes until a nurse came out and asked why we had brought him to the ER.  1 minute later they brought us back.  They placed him on a scale and took his temperature 102.4....as we were standing there we went from having 2 nursed with us to 6 and a doctor in a matter of seconds...they were asking all sorts of questions about my pregnancy, his health, symptoms.  Then the doctor asked a dreaded question, something I had forgotten all about, was I strep B positive at delivery....I had already researched the risks of being strep B positive at delivery and knew if a baby got sick from it that it wasn't good and could lead to death.  They took us to a cubicle and the doctor sat down in front of us (never a good sign) as I was holding Beckett she explained that they're fear was that it was meningitis from the strep B - he had most of the symptoms - and they were going to need to put an IV in, a catheter, chest X-ray, and a spinal tap.  I somehow remained pretty calm, tears running down my face as we went over questions and signed release forms.  I laid Beckett on the table and left Kalen with him, I couldn't watch all of those procedures.  I walked out of the curtained area and lost it...I could barely speak as I called my mom and Kalen's dad to try to explain what was going on.  All I could do is cry out to God to spare my baby and at the same time release him to God because he's HIS!  The procedures all went extremely smoothly, better than they anticipated and they started him on 3 different medications and fluids.  They checked us in and took us upstairs to his room.  At this point he was more comfortable laying in a bed, he did not want to be moved, so Kalen and I dozed on and off all night waiting, watching, and praying.  Monday came and the blood and urine tests came back first that it wasn't a blood disease or kidney related, they still would watch the cultures but as of then they were clear.  Monday night we got the all clear from his spinal tap that it was not menengitis!  Praise the Lord!  He had to go on oxygen Monday night because he wasn't retaining his Oxygen levels, but they saw no reason for it his chest X-ray had come back clean and they ruled out a respiratory infection.  Tuesday at noon he was taken off oxygen and his fever had broke and they said if he remained like that for the next 8 hours we could go home.  We still don't know what was wrong, it could have just been a virus who knows, but little man is healthy now, thank you Lord!  Thanks for all that prayed.  It felt like the longest moments ever, it is hard to believe it only was 3 days! I know several people who were up all night praying for Beckett and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.  The Lord has his hand on Beckett and I can't wait to see what God has in store for his life!

Swollen baby on tons of fluids - he wouldn't eat for 24 hours

We did lots of skin to skin when he stopped crying from being moved...

Adjusting to Life with 2

2 weeks before Beckett was born McKinley started preschool at a Mother's Day Out program.  She goes twice a week and we love her school.  She also started indoor soccer in September and she LOVES it!

 In the first two weeks after Beckett was born we worked on adjusting to life with 2 little ones.  McKinley loved Beckett, but was a bit sad losing 100% of mommy and daddy's attention.  We also went to Tulsa for newborn pictures and to celebrate Kalen's 30th Birthday.

Beckett with my midwife Leanna - I love her!

Going home - 1 of the best thing about not having a c-section was that we got to go home the day after he was born! 

Meeting Nanny for the first time!

 We were slowly starting to adjust to life as a family of 4......

Living the Dream

So I titled this blog "Living the Dream" for a reason.  I was standing in Beckett's nursery a few weeks before he was born looking at what needed to be finished, when a thought hit me - I'm living what I've always dreamed.  I am a dreamer, I'll admit it, and I tend to dream away the days (something I'm working on).  My entire life I've dreamed about the next thing to happen, when I was going to be married, have kids, own my own home, etc...  Life hasn't always gone the way my dreams wanted it to go...  Life isn't perfect, we don't own our own home yet, we have tons of college loans to payback, we have to budget (shocker I know), and we don't go on exotic vacations (we visit family instead)....but as I stood in Beckett's nursery it hit me, I'm a wife to an amazing guy, a mom to an incredible daughter, about to have an awesome son, and we have a great house to live in!  I am blessed and I'm living the best of my dreams!

Beckett's Birth Story
On September 27th, I had a feeling about mid morning that I was going into early labor.  My parents were in town and the day went on like normal.  Kalen went to his graduate class that evening and was home after dinner.  Around dinnertime I started having regular contractions every 10 minutes or so apart.  At 10pm they were every 3-5 minutes apart and Kalen and I headed for the hospital at midnight. Kalen and I were pretty clueless this time around....McKinley was a scheduled induction and then a c-section....and this time we were going for all natural, no pain medicated VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section).  When we got to the hospital we were told they were glad we came because I had to get penicillin in an IV before the baby was born because I had tested positive for strep B (a common bacteria that lives in most people's body, can be harmful to the baby as he/she is being born).  Well, because the hospital was busy that night they decided to send me home because I was only dilated to a 4 and had been dilated to a 4 for 2 weeks.  My midwife had scheduled an induction for that morning if I didn't go into labor myself since I was 3 days overdue and attempting a VBAC.  So Kalen and I went home to "get some rest".  We got back to the house at  2am and Kalen slept, while I labored in the tub having contraction every 3 minutes until 5am.  At 5:30am we headed back to the hospital, contraction felt worse but still manageable.  They got us into a labor room and IV with penicillin in around 7:30am.   By this time I was dilated to a 6.  My midwife, not joking around, wanted (needed) me to keep him in for another 8 hours to get the full dose of penicillin I needed (2 doses and 4 hours after each dose to circulate).  Contractions had gotten pretty painful by 8:30am and I couldn't find a comfortable position to manage the pain in.  They checked me and I was and 8.  30 minutes later I was a 10 and my body was naturally starting to push - a whole hour and 1/2 after the first dose of penicillin.  My blood pressure was high - most likely because of the pain - so at 10cm and pushing my midwife recommended that I get an epidural so she could control my blood pressure.  So while continuing to push inadvertently they administered the epidural.  I didn't feel anymore pain from contractions, but could feel pressure and my body pushing.  I slept for 2 hours and they were able to give me my 2nd dose of penicillin. 30 minutes after the second dose my water broke and we started pushing.  Pushing was very calm and after 45 minutes of pushing, Beckett Michael Bruce was born at 1:03pm weighing  7 lbs. 12 oz., 20 3/4 inches.  I will say having a midwife was the best experience, I will not go to an OBGYN again unless I have a problem in the future.  My midwife was fabulous and it is such a different and more personal kind of care.  Kalen was also amazing through everything, he was calm, supportive, and the best cheerleader when I was pushing!  So without further ado here is the first day of Beckett's life....

Updating

So I haven't updated any blog since October of last year.....  it was a crazy year!  And yes I switched blogs yet again! Anywho.... I was on the phone with my Titi Millie last week and she asked if I had added anything to my blog and I promised her I would before I went back to work.  So here's a few hundred pictures that you can sift through (just kidding).  So this is for my family near and far....